From the moment my family moved in, it has been fighting our very presence. The hot water likes to run so hot that it will burn your hands. Consequently, you can never wash your hands for long enough in the hot water before getting scalded. It doesn't start off hot though, but the speed at which it turns from lukewarm to burn-your-skin-off hot is rapid. The normal response to this is a sudden withdrawal of the hand followed by several profanities.
This of course creates further difficulties with the shower; the high end of the temperature knob will boil you, while the low end will freeze you. I guess that's fairly standard. And like so many showers, finding that ideal temperature in between requires minuscule adjustments of the gauge, during which you are subjected to those very extremes. I think we've all been there; you learn to know exactly where to aim it and soon enough the torture abates.
But the hot water had more tricks up its sleeve; the pressure is very high so it shoots out quickly. This is all very nice, but it uses up the hot water much more quickly than usual. Consequently, anyone faced with the fourth shower in a morning faces a race against time before the hot water runs out. As you feel it failing, you inch the knob around and it warms up for a bit, but before long the knob won't go any further and you are faced with a very chilly exit from the shower.
But wait, there's more. The hot water taps around the house get stuck. You turn them off and they seem to stop completely. But after a while, the taps will suddenly decide that they haven't actually been turned all the way off and therefore they should start dripping. And boy do they love to drip, especially in the middle of the night. The chief culprit is the tap in the kitchen, which is ideally placed right next to my bedroom. And we all know that once you hear a tap dripping, you can't get it out of your head. Invariably, I end up storming into the kitchen to turn the damn thing off. A few nights ago the tap decided to do this at exactly 12 am. It was then I realised that the hot water was out to get me, and that it was the mastermind behind the war of the appliances. This was quite an eye-opening moment; everything seemed to click into play. The dishwasher and the washing machine were its minions, and through them it could get at anything. It's very worrying.
Whatever happens, I don't think this is the end of my Private War. I can only guess what scheme the hot water is plotting currently, but rest assured, you will hear of it when it happens. Until then, I think I will make the most of having a working dishwasher and reasonably pleasant showers!